So you've decided you want a friends with benefits. No judgement, no drama, just two adults enjoying each other's company on terms that suit you both. The question is: how do you actually find one?
It's not as complicated as you might think. Whether you're in a big city or a small town, the UK has a thriving casual dating scene — you just need to know where to look and how to approach it.
What Exactly Is a FWB?
Before we get into the how, let's be clear about the what. A friends with benefits arrangement is a relationship where two people enjoy a physical connection without the expectations that come with traditional dating. There's no exclusivity requirement, no obligation to meet the parents, and no arguments about whose turn it is to choose what to watch on a Saturday night.
The key word is "friends." This isn't a stranger you sleep with once and never speak to again. It's someone you genuinely like spending time with — you just don't want to date them in the conventional sense.
The Online Route (Your Best Bet)
Let's be honest — the internet has completely transformed how people find casual partners. And for good reason. Online platforms let you filter for exactly what you're looking for, and more importantly, they put you in touch with people who want the same thing.
Dedicated adult dating sites
Sites like Friends With Benefits are built specifically for people seeking no-strings arrangements. The advantage over mainstream apps like Tinder or Bumble is simple: there's no ambiguity. Everyone who signs up knows the score. You won't waste weeks messaging someone only to discover they're looking for a life partner.
When setting up your profile, be direct about what you're after. You don't need to be crude — just honest. Something like "Looking for regular fun with the right person, not interested in anything serious" is plenty. The people who are on the same wavelength will find you.
Mainstream dating apps with the right settings
If you'd rather cast a wider net, apps like Tinder and Hinge can work too, but you'll need to be more upfront in your bio. The challenge is that these platforms attract people with all kinds of intentions, so expect some mismatched conversations along the way.
The Offline Route
Not everything has to happen through a screen. People have been finding casual partners in real life since long before the internet existed. Here are some options:
Through your social circle
This is the classic route. You already know the person, you already get on, and there's a natural chemistry. The risk is obvious — if it goes wrong, it can make things awkward within your friend group. But if you're both mature about it and set clear expectations from the start, a FWB arrangement with someone you already know can be the most straightforward option of all.
At work
We've written about this one before. Workplace FWB situations are more common than most people admit, but they come with real risks. If you're considering it, make sure the power dynamic is equal (not your boss, not your direct report), keep things completely discreet, and have an honest conversation about what happens if one of you wants to stop.
Social events, classes, and hobbies
Gym classes, evening courses, sports leagues, volunteering — anywhere you regularly see the same people is a potential hunting ground. The advantage here is that you build familiarity naturally, which makes the transition to something more intimate feel less forced.
How to Approach the Conversation
This is where most people stumble. You've found someone you're interested in — now what?
The golden rule is directness. You don't need a rehearsed speech. Something as simple as "I really enjoy spending time with you. I'm not looking for anything serious right now, but I'd love to see where this goes if you're up for it" does the job.
What you want to avoid is ambiguity. If you leave things vague, one of you will end up catching feelings while the other thought it was just a bit of fun. That's how friendships get ruined and feelings get hurt.
Setting Ground Rules
Every successful FWB arrangement has some version of these in place:
Communication. Check in regularly. Not in a "where is this going?" way — more like "are we both still happy with how this is working?" It takes thirty seconds and prevents months of confusion.
Boundaries. Are you seeing other people? Are there things that are off the table? Are sleepovers okay, or is this strictly a come-over-and-leave situation? Sort this out early.
An exit strategy. Agree upfront that either person can end it at any time, no hard feelings. Having this understanding from day one takes the pressure off and, paradoxically, often makes the arrangement last longer.
Location Matters (But Less Than You Think)
If you're in London, Manchester, or Birmingham, the sheer number of people means you'll have plenty of options, especially online. But even in smaller towns, you'd be surprised how many people are quietly looking for exactly the same thing.
The UK's attitude towards casual sex has shifted enormously over the past decade. What used to be whispered about is now openly discussed. Dating sites that cater to this market have grown massively as a result — and the stigma has largely evaporated.
Ready to Start Looking?
The honest truth is that finding a FWB in the UK has never been easier. The tools are there, the people are there, and the cultural acceptance is there. The only thing left is for you to take the first step.
Sign up for free at Friends With Benefits and see who's near you tonight.